GUMBALL 3000

The Gumball 3000 is a great annual 3000-mi (5000 km) international car rally that takes place on public roads.

One rally was the most ambitious of any rally so far, starting London and finishing in Los Angeles just 8 days later, with the organizers flying all 120 cars from Europe to Asia and again from Asia to Europe. The rally started on April 29, 2006 in Pall Mall, London. It continued on to Vienna, Budapest and Belgrade. The drivers then boarded a plane in Serbia to be taken to Thailand, Puget and Bangkok. The final leg took place in the United States and ran from Salt Lake City to Los Angeles, via Las Vegas.

Starting in London and finishing 8 days later in Los Angeles…this one is just NUTS, 120 amazing cars driving 3000 miles across 3 Continents in just 8 days! Last year the crowds on route were HUGE, and this year we want even more of you to cheer us on. We’ve got more superstars, superstars and rock n’ roll parties than you can imagine!

 

Drawing inspiration from the 1970s race, the movies and Smokey and the Bandit, Maximillion Cooper started the modern edition of the game in the summer of 1999 as the Gumball 3000 road rally. Gumball 3000 has since gained the reputation as road race for the modern era and has captured the attention. With celebrity participation the public have been bought closer to the race by witnessing it on everything from MTV to reading about it in Vanity Fair.

Dates:
Gumball 2006 took place from the 29th of April until the 7th of May.
29 April - Registration Day and Start Party
30 April - Cars on display at Pall Mall
1-2nd May - Europe leg
3-5th May - Asian leg
6-7th May - US leg

The route:
The Event followed a 3 stage, 3000 mile driving route that incorporates Europe, Asia and the United States.
Stage 1 Europe - London (UK) to Belgrade (Serbia) The cars and participants were flown to Puget (Thailand).
Stage 2 Asia - Puget (Thailand) to Bangkok (Thailand). The cars and participants were flown across the pacific to the USA.
Stage 3 Salt Lake City (USA) to Los Angeles (USA) via Las Vegas.

Costs:
As done in past years, loyal past Gumballers received a discount of 25% with the total entry fee being £30,000 (based on 2 persons per car); and £40,000 to new participants.
The entry fee included accommodation in the most amazing 5-star hotels each night, including the night of registration (Sunday 30th April) throughout the week, until (and including) Monday 8th May. This included all breakfasts, lunches and dinners, as well as several wild parties. Throughout the week all drivers and co-drivers shared Deluxe double/twin rooms to accommodate two people.

2002
The fourth rally was held in April 2002, the first to be run outside Europe. The rally went from New York to the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles, passing through a checkpoint at the White House in Washington DC, onto Nashville, Tennessee for lunch in Elvis Presley's Mansion, Graceland, before getting a Dallas Cowboys welcome in Texas, onwards to Cadillac Ranch, Santa Fe, New Mexico, the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas, Nevada before reaching the Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills where Hugh Hefner and playmates awarded trophies. 175 cars entered the contest, including a 1960s Corvette painted in the Stars and Stripes that won best car award, the 1959 Ferrari California Spider like the one in the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off that was bought at a cost of over $1m just to take part in the Gumball, as well as old American muscle cars taking to the road with modern day super cars. Fashion designer Donna Karan, models Amy Wesson and Rachel Hunter, and actor Matthew McConaughey were amongst the competitors. The winners were Nicholas Frankl and Nick Connor, who, despite being arrested and imprisoned for multiple safety infractions, were released on bail and flew to the finish line in their prison outfits.


 

  

2003
The fifth rally was held in May 2003, with more than 100 cars from San Francisco, California to Miami, Florida, passing through Reno, Nevada, Las Vegas, Nevada, Tucson, Arizona, White Sands, New Mexico, San Antonio, Texas and New Orleans, Louisiana. This one was made into 'Gumball 3000' The Movie[1] and starred Jackass' Ryan Dunn racing a rental car alongside skateboard legends Tony Hawk in a Dodge Viper and Bucky Lasek, Motocross World champions Travis Pastrana and Carey Hart, and supermodel Jodie Kidd. Cars included a mix of Ferrari F50s and 360s, Lamborghini Murcielagos, a Koenigsegg cc Supercar and Jesse James' custom VW Campervan.

Alex Roy won in his Team Polizei BMW M5, decked out in German Police Gear[2]. "Fastest Wheels" was awarded to Rob "Lonman" Kenworthy in a Porsche GT2. A Special Award was given to Richard and Sue Rawlings in their heavily modified Chevy Avalanche.

2004
The sixth rally was held in May 2004, back again in Europe. The rally went from the Eiffel Tower in Paris to Biarritz, Madrid, Marbella, then crossed over to Africa, (via Gibraltar) to Marrakech in Morocco as guests of the King, before returning to Spain for the Barcelona Grand Prix, finishing in Cannes at the film festival. 192 cars took part. Ex Boxing world champion Chris Eubank drove a truck, whilst The Pianist Academy Award winning actor Adrien Brody favored a Porsche and the 'Ai Ya' Boys just rented a Winnebago RV.

Gary Lutke and John Docherty won the coveted Spirit Trophy in the Citroën 2CV. First place went to Kim Schmitz in a Mercedes CL3000. The Style Award went to Alex Roy, this time dressed as a Canadian Mountie. The Safety Award went to Torquenstein for surviving a near fatal Dodge Viper crash in Morocco.

Former Champion jockey Richard Dunwoody and journalist Clement Wilson entered in a Volvo V70R and wrote an account entitled "Our Gumball Rally" published by Virgin Books.
Monday, May 01, 2006
I’m Maximillion Cooper, the host and proud founder of the rally which kicked off for the eigth consecutive year on Pall Mall yesterday to the sound of thousands of people, the roar of over a hundred of the world most rock and roll supercars, and some dodgy music coming from Goldie Looking Chain’s Bedford Rascal!
Since then the 240 Gumballers have crossed beneath the channel, driven through France into Belgium where we stopped at the beautiful Blois Chateau at about one in the morning for dinner. To my surprise hundreds of crazy Gumball fans had waited up for us, a naked girl even tried to get into my car…so guys you know where to come! We then set off to our next check point, breakfast in Vienna and again crowds and crowds of fans lined the streets, motorway bridges and side road hedgeways al the way, I know that to me and all the Gumballers this support really makes the 28 hour drive worthwhile!
So then that was us on the way to our last checkpoint in Europe, the mighty 4 seasons overlooking the Danube in Budapest, yes you guessed it, another few thousand fans thronging the streets all the way in.
Stay Tuned,

Tuesday, May 02, 2006
So Gumball fans – it’s the end of a long and eventful Tuesday here on the rally and wow what and event it’s turning out to be! I can’t really begin to describe the things I’ve seen and the emotions I’ve felt this year, the guys in Budapest are fantastic, cheering us on and waiting outside the hotel for the Gumballer’s to turn up even though it was a rainy wet cold bank holiday Monday – The “Fuel‿ cars regular checkpoint firework display certainly made a good impression.
After a quick and much needed power-nap; Julie and myself joined the Gumballer’s for a great party at Moulin Rouge, one of Budapest’s finest venues for some dinner and dancing to the music of the Ministry of Sound DJ’s and a set from the infamous Cuban Brothers. Early the next morning the beautiful square that the Four Seasons Hotel dominates will be awoken to the cacophonous roar of the supercars tearing out on the way to the final leg of their European Adventure…..Belgrade.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
As expected – there were less fans this morning – that’s a 7 o’clock start for you and we did hit a bit of traffic on the way out of Budapest but the drive down to the border for the next checkpoint was beautiful – the countryside is very unspoilt down here – and to my surprise – hundreds more fans lined the bridges all the way there! Sometimes there were just fields and field as far as you could see and yet still there were people out to cheer us on our way past – I don’t know where they all came from!!
The border crossing was great – the Serbian guards were pleased to see us and again there were guys out to see us but once in and on the roads we were really going well and making a good pace towards our checkpoint.
But then, unfortunately we had some bad news on the way – a glorious Rolls Royce Phantom was written off shortly after we had crossed the border – luckily the mighty car protected it’s passengers perfectly – prompting the driver to get out and rue his decision to be insured as 3rd party only! The passengers safe, the Rolls towed, the Gumballer’s carried on to one of the most spectacular aspects of the rally so far – the crowds of fans lining the streets of the Serbian capital and site of former horrific bombings in the 90’s – Belgrade. Seeing the amount of people out to welcome us really put in perspective how much the people around the world love to see a collection of supercars – we estimate about a million people were there to welcome us in, all giving us the thumbs up, asking for stickers and welcoming us to Serbia generally – wow – I’m still getting over it – the Police there had to be the most welcoming of all – after they trapped one or two Gumballer’s with their Radar guns they pulled them over to show them exactly how fast they had been going before sending them on the way.
So then it was off to Belgrade Airport where the cars were loaded onto three enormous Antonov transporter planes and flown to the next stop – the Gumballers and I made our way to the Icelandic Air 757 waiting for us with a great hand picked crew and settled down for a sleep – or some of us did anyway…waking up the next day in the heat of a country as yet untouched by Gumball wheels! Thailand!!
The heat hit you as soon as you got off the plane – where we met and taken to one of the best hotels in the world – The Amanpuri on the incredible island of Phuket. It truly is a glorious hotel consisting of lots of little huts on stilts overlooking the beautiful blue sea – with a day to chill before a great party on the beach the Gumballer’s all relaxed in different ways – none car related though as the Antonov’s didnt land until a little while after us. A day sleeping on the beach is just what’s needed after the miles we have covered so far and have to cover tomorrow; a 700 mile trip from here in Phuket up via a fantastic checkpoint into Bangkok where it will be time to board our Iceland Air 757 again – this time America bound.

Thursday, May 04, 2006
What a rest! A full day at The Amanpuri Hotel on the beautiful beach of Phuket!! Well deserved too – we’ve done our endurance leg, and we’ve endured a really – really long flight with a lot of Gumballer’s in high spirits too! So after we arrived in Phuket and had our day on the beach, the Gumballer’s all met at the beack in the evening for a true Thai style full moon beach party, with great food and a great DJ!
The next day, with a few hung over passengers, we set off to Bangkok – having come off the Antonov’s with only a quarter off a tank of petrol the local gas station saw off a super car motorcade like it had never seen before – after a slow start and obviously driving slowly through the windy roads (apart from the “Flash Lamborghini‿ that split a tree in half!) the Gumballer’s made their way to a huge and beautiful bat cave where we had some lunch before setting off for a final leg to Bangkok where we had more treats in store. Namely – The Oriental hotel – with 120 super cars lined up outside we checked in and then made our way via a little boat across a little river to where there was a great Thai dinner set to live Thai music and a Thai boxing and dancing demonstration.
A few drinks down, and full on beautiful food a few Gumballer’s made their way into Bangkok for a few more – I think with the intention of knocking themselves out for the flight tomorrow!

Friday, May 05, 2006
An early start this morning, and a police escort through Bangkok to the Airport where the Antonov’s were waiting to load up again- this time the flight was even more of a monster, 2 stops, the first in Japan and the second in Alaska where I’m pretty sure a few Gumballer’s actually ate the Reindeer dogs on offer, only a short stop though before hopping back onto Gumball Air 1 straight to Salt Lake City.
Arriving at our hotel we were checked into pretty quick, the guys that “lost‿ their Phantom in Serbia had a new one waiting, and we were all rushed to our rooms to get ready and looking smart to go to the first West cost screening of MI:3 with Tom Cruise – another Gumball first. I’m having a pretty quiet night- the premiere was great but I need some rest now after all that driving and flying – tomorrow is a big day – The Miller Race Track!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
We were bussed to the Antonov’s this morning, cars waiting, a good crowd, news vans, the whole works, even choppers flying around the get the Gumballer’s leaving. Our first checkpoint today was at the incredible Miler Race Track where the Gumballer’s could take their own cars around the track to get out some of their frustration from the American freeway 55 mph limit! A really hot day, loads of people, helicopters buzzing around over head and a great lunch - and the fact that we were driving on the forthcomiing American F1 track - hence we beat Schumacher over the finish line - not bad going for one day - but we couldn’t hang around - we had the Bonneville Salt Flats in our sights - as I’m sure you know - these particular flats are home to many a failed, and successful land speed record attempt - obviously we weren’t going to try that but what was obvious was that a huge natural skid pan was too much to resist for certain Gumballers - one of the sights of the day had to be a classic white 911 and a new white 911 turbo racing around the flats doing donuts - I’ll never forget it!
From then on it was hard driving through some classic scenery straight to the famous desert oasis of Las Vegas - I convoyed with Bill and Gary in the 911 turbo straight through little towns and big desolate spaces until we saw the lights of the strip and pulled up in front of The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino with about half of the other cars already waiting for us - and what a scene we were greeted with - just what you would expect from Vegas, big crowds, loud music, and gorgeous girls wearing very little cleaning the cars in the car park - what more could you ask for?? Exactly - a night out!
And what a treat we had in store for the Gumballers tonight - shepherded through the crowds they were taken into a huge concert hall, The Joint, Vegas style where Big Snoop Dog and all his crew played a great private set. As you can imagine, when that ended, the night did not - a lot of the Gumballers were seen heading to the tables - well with just one night in Vegas you just have to don’t you!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Getting up this morning was hard to say the least - it was a really great day yesterday, to drive and see what we saw and then have Big Snoop play live was incredible, probably the highlight of the tour for me so far, and they aren’t kidding when they say Vegas is the city that doesn’t sleep! But what better motivation to get up that to drive right through the heart of death valley in a Ferrari 612 Scaglietti!!
First stop - Furance Creek, an hour or so outside of Vegas, another oasis - I saw some of the footage from the helicopter and the Furance Creek Inn where we stopped for lunch is a place the size of a large house, with lovely green grass and palm trees and a pool - not to mention a great lunch but surrounded by miles and miles of flat lifeless land - it could be on the moon it’s so desolate!
The Ferrari is saying the air temperature is hitting 45 degrees sometimes - glad I’m not in an air cooled car - I even have to turn the air con off because the car is overheating - I cant describe how mad it is here - one of the lowest points on earth at a few hundred feet below see level - yes - we are driving at below sea level - it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before and it really makes it seem like months ago that we were in rainy grey Belgium but it is only a few days! Keep driving though - LA is calling and the final party….

Sunday, May 07, 2006
Getting to LA this evening brought mixed feelings - on the one hand a sense of great achievement - 3000 miles, 3 continents, amazing scenery, great parties and every other benefit from this event but then also a sense that I am going to have to wait another year before I can feel this again- think next week is going to be a huge come down - I’ll miss the sound of the guys revving their engines for the crowds!
There is light at the end of the tunnel though - pulling into Rodeo Drive. It’s been closed off especially for this event and the LA crowds were great of course, the Americans just love to see the type of cars that the Gumball brings with them, you don’t see many Nobles and Ultimas here! And then we see it…. the chequered flag - that’s it, the driving done, the rally over - one last thing to do before Julie and I start working on next years rally - which I promise is going to be on to remember - and that is to get the Gumballer’s to the lovely Beverly Hilton to get showered and changed - there are coaches waiting for us - you probably already know where they are going to take us - there is only really one place in the whole of the US that could do justice to the final blow out - the party of the year - the Gumball Final Night - yes - the fabled Playboy Mansion.
Of course we take a few cars up to the mansion - what better sight for the guys on the coaches behind than a few Ferraris and Lambos, the Playboy Mansion and a bunny or two (or three…). It’s great to be back here - I had almost forgotten what an atmosphere this place has - the famous pool and of course the grotto. But before we have a chance to take too many drinks on board we assemble in the marquee where I have to give the guys a full de-brief - well done all of you - you drove well, arrived safely and I hope keen for next year - a few awards to give out too - and naturally Mr Hugh Heffner himself is the obvious choice to give out this years “Spirit of the Gumball” award. Of course it went to the 4 game guys who lost their Phantom in Serbia, hitched through Thailand and had another one waiting for them in Salt Lake - that’s the spirit guys!!!
A great deal with Absolute Poker also offered the chance to win a million if you were lucky with the poker cards. I’ll have to let you guys check the forums to see what happened for the rest of the night, I’m putting my lap top away now, there are drinks to drink and bunnies to pet!
Thanks for reading, Julie, myself and the whole of the Gumball team hope you can join us next year for Gumball 2007!!!
Drive safely…
Maximillion Cooper
  2005 - The seventh rally started at Trafalgar Square on May 14, 2005. It went 3000 miles from London to Brussels, Prague, Vienna, Budapest, and then to Dubrovnik in Croatia. The cars were then transported by ferry to Bari, Italy, then lapped the old Targa Florio circuit in Sicily, before heading north to Rome and Florence, and finally crossing the finish line in Monaco's Casino Square prior to the F1 Grand Prix. Participants included Daryl Hannah, rock stars and supermodels driving everything from the Dukes of Hazzard General Lee to Ferrari Enzos and Mercedes SLRs.

Five drivers were arrested on May 9, 2005 by the Catalonian traffic police when they were speeding between Sagunto and Tarragona. The charged participants were listed as Gary Malcolm P., 32 from UK, Darrick F, 36 (Canada), Rudolf S., 46 (Belgium), Pastou P., 25 (UK) and Robert Nicholas, 31 (UK). According the police statement, one of the organisers was among those arrested. The story was published in Spain's newspapers on 10 May 2005. They were known to be heading towards London, where the rally was set to start in a few days.

The Spirit Trophy went to Sue Bellarby and Kathy Huddart, whose Caterham 7 broke down just shy of the finish line. They were picked up by Gumball Legend Alex Roy and transported to the finish line in his "Guardia Civil" BMW M5 and finished 2nd dressed as a Spanish cop.

This year's unofficial winners were Greg and "Kalbas" in a Mercedes 2004 CLK-DTM, who edged out a week-old Mercedes-McLaren SLR whose engine blew up just short of the finish line.

2006
The 2006 rally was the most ambitious of any rally so far, starting London and finishing in Los Angeles just 8 days later, with the organisers flying all 120 cars from Europe to Asia and again from Asia to Europe in 3 [citation needed] of the largest aeroplanes in the world Antonov An-124, and an Iceland Air passenger Boeing 757. The rally started on April 29, 2006 in Pall Mall, London. It continued on to Vienna, Budapest and Belgrade. The drivers then boarded a plane in Serbia to be taken to Thailand for the race's second leg between Puget and Bangkok. The final leg took place in the United States and ran from Salt Lake City to Los Angeles, via Las Vegas, where the legendary Snoop Dogg performed live at the Gumball party.

Entrants included Jackass stars Ryan Dunn and Bam Margera, driving Bams 'Billy Idol' customised Lamborghini Gallardo, Tony Hawk, Mike Vallely, and Rooftop Escamilla in a Jeep SRT8, Blink 182's Travis Barker drove his Rolls Royce Phantom with DJ Swiss Beats, Dirty Sanchez' Dan Joyce, Matthew Pitchard, and Love Actually star Martine McCutcheon drove a pink Range Rover and American television host Matt Johnston drove his custom 2006 Dodge Charger, amongst Gumball's regular assortment of eccentrics and billionaires from all over the world.

Team Polizei's Alex Roy & Michael Ross dominated Gumball 2006, arriving in 1st place in Belgium, Vienna, Budapest, Furnace Creek and Beverly Hills, even beating the Gumballers that skipped the intermediate checkpoints. Team Polizei, suffering from both sabotage[citation needed] and accident damage in Thailand, sat out the Thailand leg and made a surprise visit to the Burmese border, where pictures were taken with border guards who thought the Polizei were UN inspectors.

2007
The 2007 route is going from London to Istanbul, via Amsterdam, Munich, Venice, Dubrovnik, Kosovo and Athens. 3000 miles through 16 countries, 120 cars, in 8 days. As the first competitor Uwe Skrabs is launched.
2003 Rob "Lonman" Kenworthy - Porsche 996 GT2
2004 Kim Schmitz - Mercedes-Benz CL3000
2005 Remy Gelas & "Kalbas" - Mercedes-Benz CLK-DTM
2006 Alex Roy & Michael Ross - Team Polizei Bentley GT

Gumball 3000 does not publish time-based figures for participants, who, by their entry contract, are legally barred from time-based competition. However, unofficial time-based results are commonly compiled and verified by fans through ALK/Copilot GPS timelogs/tracks and via corroborating eyewitness accounts from Gumballers, journalists and fans at the start and finish checkpoints.

Meanwhile Torquenstein returned from the extraordinary events of the 2004 rally no longer in a Dodge Viper, but now in a fully prepared & rally ready Ford GT A few modifications included a smoke screen, three GPS units and a radar drone system. Torquenstein and navigator Dr. E. Gruene placed 2nd in Belgrade, 8th in Thailand and tied for 1st place on the final stage with the Team Polizei Bentley driven by Alex Roy and Michael Ross.

The Spirit Trophy was won by Damian Williams, Richard Blackburn & Ezra Chapman of Team 15, who spun and crashed their camouflage Rolls Royce Phantom at around 160mph just north of Belgrade. Despite this setback they made it to the Serbian airport where the Gumball-chartered Iceland Air 757 nearly left without them. They allegedly rode 500+ miles in a cab across Thailand, then picked up a brand new Rolls Royce Phantom in Salt Lake City which they drove to the Beverly Hills Finish Line. They arrived at the Playboy Mansion with the twisted grille from the first Phantom, and Hugh Hefner presented them with a fitting trophy, a Gumball machine!

The Gumball 3000 rally: Yet another reason to hate the rich

April 27, 2002 | "Between Thursdays April 25 - Tuesday April 30th 2002 the Gumball 3000 Rally will take part [sic] across the USA. ... From supermodel to rock star, racing driver to simple car enthusiast, the rally is a test of 3000 miles across the world's greatest Continent, [sic] punctuated by the wildest parties each evening!" -- From the Gumball3000.com Web site

I always enjoy hearing tales of the Middle Ages, those glorious centuries when the upper classes had so little regard for the humanity of the peasants and townspeople that groups of elegant, spirited aristocrats would don dark clothing and masks, saddle up their prized Arabian stallions in the middle of the night and ride through town with polo-type mallets, merrily clubbing the brains out of any poor, luckless buggers who happened to be in their way. "Har har har!" they must have cried, swilling aged brandy from jeweled casks as they toweled the blood from their gloves with the flaxen hair of petrified local virgins.

Ah, to be a powerful aristocrat, suffering no consequences for any actions, no matter how vile! Feeling no remorse or pangs of conscience whatsoever! Exercising the full extent of one's birthright to be an untouchable menace! What is money, after all, if one can't heartily enjoy buggering and impinging upon the rights of one's inferiors?

 

 
Such brazen flexings of financial muscle are rare nowadays, but there still remains one glorious event in which the very rich get to treat the rest of mankind like cabbages or skeet. This year, America is the lucky host of the 4th annual cash-ejaculating orgy known as the Gumball 3000 Rally. Since 1999, zillionaire scofflaws have been terrorizing cities across Europe and Russia in a weeklong burn down the roadways in the finest and fastest cars money can buy, speeding outrageously, fucking everything, spinning donuts, laying patches, binge-drinking top-shelf liqueurs, soiling the sheets of venerable Chateaux, crashing frequently and buying their way out of trouble every mile along the way with the haughty devil-may-care insouciance that can only be assumed by gilded dirtbags who regard a flaming Ferrari in a ditch as an amusing tax write-off.
"Har har har! Brigitta? Get my mechanic on the phone and tell him to have the Lamborghini ready for me in Munich. Here's another emerald thong-brooch for your trouble. Do pour us another round of gimlets from the titanium emergency bar. I say, what a hoot!"

The Gumball 3000 began in 1999 when young British entrepreneur Maximillian Cooper, inspired by the Burt Reynolds vehicle "Cannonball Run," conceived of an elite six-day car race across Europe as a "private party for 50 of his closest friends." According to the Gumball3000.com Web site, his "private party" just happened to achieve "immediate notoriety and a somewhat 'cool' status," presumably because Cooper leaked to the press that Naomi Campbell would be among the original participants. She wasn't, but it didn't matter -- the belligerent rich and their supercars were enough to attract a gaggle of other demi-celebrities, and a whole host of ultrarich bankers, nightclub owners, entrepreneurs, music moguls, minor sports stars and other car enthusiasts willing to cough up the 6,000-pound ($8,700) entry fee, drive 600 miles each day, then stay up all night drinking and do it again every day for six days.

Cooper, who appears on the Web site wearing tinted sunglasses and a red racing jacket, posing self-consciously Steve McQueen-esquely in front of a pair of Ferraris, told the London Times in 2000: "Gumball is about the mix of people we get -- you know, rock stars, racing drivers, models -- it's about the rock 'n' roll attitude."

Gumball's already obnoxious social cachet is only swelling now that it has been adopted by ultracool Johnny "Jackass" Knoxville, who devoted a whole MTV special to last year's race from London to Russia and back again, documenting horrible hangovers, contiguous pan-European vomiting and high-speed wrecks expensive enough to finance years of food for entire starving villages of large-eyed children surrounded by flies.
Other glitterati rumored to be participating this year are four former Playboy Playmates of the Year, wilting Hollywood machismo embodiments Nick Cage and Matt Dillon, tarnished waif Kate Moss, Caucasian soul-manufacturers Jamiroquoi and Fatboy Slim, and trend-spigot Spike Jonze, who is filming the whole thing for a feature film to be released next year, that more of the Great Unwashed might view the rarefied majesty of a bunch of superrich speed-worshipping douche bags gluttonously overgratifying their selfish and citizen-endangering urges, for no charitable cause or altruistic aim whatsoever. This year's Gumball began Thursday, April 25, at 7 p.m. Eastern time, as gazillions of dollars' worth of priapic speed machinery roared out of the garage of the posh Plaza Hotel in Manhattan. The grotesquely indulge-o-tronic caravan will avoid as many speeding tickets as possible (and painlessly throw big sweaty bricks of cash at the unavoidable ones) while openly flouting traffic laws and cruising their über-priced land jets at speeds exceeding 200 mph on its way to tomorrow's checkpoint in Washington, D.C. (The Web site piously says, "The 'Gumball 3000' rally is not a race, and if you break the speed limits you are likely to end up in jail!!!" "Har har har! Worry not your tiny blond head, Brigitta, everyone knows that only Negroes go to jail. Now part your thighs so I can see the windshield.")
They will then careen toward Graceland, threaten roads from there to the Grand Ol' Opry, then press hazardously on to the Santa Fe Desert Hotel, partying heedlessly all the while. From there, they hurtle en masse to a party with the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, then squeal off to a subsequent party in Las Vegas at one of Billy Richardson's hotels, before hopping back in their potentially child-killing machines to burn rubber, now half-blind with alcohol poisoning and sexual exhaustion, to the finish line at the corner of Hollywood and Highland, where they will collapse into a collective pile of cold sores, gout and other afflictions caused by ceaseless excess at the Hollywood Renaissance hotel. The after-party celebration is reportedly being held at the Playboy mansion.

We can only guess how many will die en route; how many daughters will be impregnated and hurled out of Bentley windows; how many empty Dom Perignon bottles will be flung with tittering derision at the jaws of befuddled state troopers, and how many Guns N' Roses-style hotel-room befoulings these millionaires will wreak on frightened and exhausted service personnel nationwide, who must clean up their dreadful and unsanitary messes for $6.50 an hour to provide milk and used blankets for their children.

 
I spoke to one of the participants at their launch party last night at the club "Lotus" in Manhattan's hip meat-packing district, while leaning against a Ferrari formula something-or-other that looked very important, with a lot of racing-type stickers on it. Doug Bauer, who holds some unspecified position of importance in the Legg Mason investment firm, is the driver of "the only Ruf R-Turbo One in the nation, probably." Bauer, who at 32 has the kind of glowing, innocent and walleyed child's face-on-a-man's-body that only the vampirically rich seem to have, says his car (which at $160,000 is the equivalent price of 8,000 child slaves on the black market) goes from zero to 60 in three seconds, and can get up to 225 mph. He believes he may be a contender for the "All Out Speed" competition to be held in the desert later in the race.

We can only hope that bright, rich young men like Doug and his ilk will have a compassionate awakening toward those less privileged than themselves, and eventually be driven to dedicate the Gumball to fund-raising for the diseased and palsied orphan infants of the world. Until then, I suppose we will have to content ourselves with the knowledge that these intrepid racers will extend every effort to provide temporary transportation for the topless hitchhiking schoolgirls of America.

Inspired by the liberating and infamous ‘Gumball Rally’ and ‘Cannonball Run’ films of the 70s, Maximillion Cooper (Mr Gumball) attempted to recreate the spirit and fun of those classics by bringing together the worlds of film, fashion, music, sport and business, for a 6-day ‘3000’ mile (hence,‘3000’) rally, punctuated by the wildest parties. What began as a “private party for 50 of his closest friends, just kind of grew”, and after 3 years ‘Gumball 3000’ is proving to be the most rapidly developing brand name across the globe.

In 1999 the first ‘Gumball 3000’ rally was a great success, capturing the attention of the world’s media. With an amazing 3000 mile route across Europe, participants drove by day and partied by night, staying in the finest Chateau’s and most amazing venues. Film stars raced supermodels, sports-stars, racing drivers, and rock ‘n’ roll stars alike, driving everything from Ferrari’s, Porsche’s, Lamborghini’s and McLaren F1’s, to old classics and even little ‘Herbie’, in the greatest adventure possible.
The event gained immediate notoriety and a somewhat ‘cool’ status. Participants that first year included Jason Priestley, Billy Zane, Dannii and Kylie Minogue, and Jamiroquai amongst others. As you can imagine, all of a sudden everybody wanted to be involved.

By 2000 following the success of the first event a major licensing deal was immediately signed with SCi, the UK’s leading computer games developer, creating ‘Gumball 3000’ for the Sony Playstation 2 console. And with such phenomenal demand for the rally, in May 2000 another incredible event took place.

From the start in London all 80 ‘supercars’ and 3 fearless motorbikes were flown to Spain, where they embarked upon 6 days of non-stop action and unforgettable parties.

 

New Gumballers included 15 of Europe’s leading ‘pop’ groups and rock ‘n’ roll stars, as well as footballers, world champion boxers, aristocrats, wealthy entrepreneurs, playboys, bankers, music and film moguls, and just a few eccentrics!

In 2001 with ever increasing popularity, following two Channel 4 television documentaries, more licensing deals, including ‘Gumball 3000’ collectable ‘Top Trump’ cards, the rally did the impossible, with a route from London to Russia and back. Just imagine 100 Ferrari’s, Lamborghini’s, Porsche’s, Bentley’s and other exotic machinery pulling into St. Petersburg at midnight. Russia had never seen anything like it.

And so the ‘Gumball 3000’ phenomenon continued, bringing together the most eclectic mix of stars and cars, for an unforgettable experience. This time BBC1 made it into an hour long TV show hosted by Ruby Wax. And MTV’s Johnny Knoxville and the rest of the now legendary ‘Jackass’ stars came along for the ride, making it into MTV’s highest viewed show across the world!

In 2002 for the first time ‘Gumball 3000’ will take place in the United States, and will undoubtedly cause a storm!

     

Fast cars, crazy drivers, miles of police and a one way ticket to hell. If you never heard about the Gumball 3000 rally, its basically Cannonball Run the movie even Burt Reynolds the star of cannonball run, is the narrator of the Gumball 3000 movie. Or if you seen the Jackass one hour special on MTV wit the crew in Europe wit there rental, that was this stuff. Like other reviewers, the camera seems to focus on the drivers telling the story of what they had experience through Gumball run instead of recording the action.
Though they still show some action of the drivers in the freeway but not that much but they seem to focus the movie bout the cops pulling the racers over than we see the racer doing any action on the road. OK now I'm done putting down the movie, here is the plus on it. I really like it a lot because they do showcase crazy drivers on the rally even the Cuban brothers were really funny. (Can someone tell me if those brothers are really Cubans or just drivers pretending to be like them.) Even one of the drivers pull a fast one of the founder of Gumball. Really funny stuff. I recommend this movie if your interested in this stuff. If you want something crazier like this, I recommend looking for any of the Mischief series that is put out by Tekademics productions. That series is more exciting than this stuff but this movie is recommended like I said before, have fun!
Well, we left the hotel in Budapest early to head to the airport in Belgrade. On the way we had one, of what was to be many arguments with the Co-Pilot, which had told us to turn round after we travelled 10 miles along, what looked to be a new motorway. After much discussion we decided we had best do this as we hadn’t seen any other Gumballers for some time. We eventually found our way back to the A road and met up with Damien, Richard and Ezra in their Phantom and Max in the NOD5 Ferrari. We thought great, we are back on the right road then, 20 minutes later we joined a motorway at the same junction we had made our u-turn some 45 minutes ago! Co-Pilot - sort it out!

More problems lay ahead when Ezra lost his Phantom round a bend wiping out the front and back end. Then Max got a puncture after hitting the debris. Too top it all, Nods the got arrested for reversing into a local. Nightmare!

After, much discussion and the threat of a court hearing Nods managed to sweet talk the policeman with the help of the local businessman he had reversed into and a few US Dollars. Who say’s money doesn’t talk! We managed to get Max back on the road by contacting Rupert in the Batmobile - also a 612 Ferrari. These guys had a spare wheel in the boot and one of the crew delivered it. Unfortunately, there was little we could do for the boys in the Phantom.

After 90 minutes we were once again back on the road headed for Belgrade and once again having a now familiar row with the co-pilot. However, help was at hand in the form of one of the locals in his yellow BMW who guided us to the town square. Once there we were greeted with thousands of fans wanting pictures and autographs. This caused a clutch problem which was evident by the fact the management warning light was on and the smell not good. We did a brief lap of the square and tear-arsed out of the place before the clutch became more of a problem.

We got to the airport in no time and parked our cars in the holding area to await the loading of them onto the Antonov Monsters. We were then taken by bus to passenger departures and were on the plane soon after check in. The flight was around 10 hours, so there was only one thing for it - red wine, lots of! Managed to drink solid for 5 hours then sleep for a couple. When we stepped off the plane the tropical heat hit us like falling scaffolding.
We jumped on minibuses to the Amanpuri Resort which was a 30 minute drive from the airport. When we arrived it was paradise! Beautiful thai style villa’s with their own pools over looking the Andaman sea. Fantastic! Grabbed a couple of Singha’s and chilled in the pool with our neighbour’s Tom & James, and Adam. Once we had cleared the mini-bar we headed to the beach to chill and make the most of our day off. Here we grabbed some lunch and a few more Singha’s and a Thai massage. Later that evening we headed into Patong and the delights of Soi Bangla.

An early start followed another late night, the buses were here to pick us up at 6.30 to take us to collect the cars. We had decided to have a change of cars today. So, I jumped in the Porsche turbo with Gary, and Bill jumped in FLASH with Nods. Gary and I were one of the first out of the airport and made haste north towards the mainland. However, our haste was to become a halt as we lost a fan belt only minutes into the journey. Many Gumballers pulled over to offer assistance, but not much could be done at this stage. Nods and Bill were not far behind and pulled in. Bill then insisted he stay with the Gary and the Porsche - a decision he would later be glad of.

We were back in FLASH and we were headed north at some speed. Adam overtook us soon after and a race followed. However, the roads were not good with plenty of unexpected pot holes and dips, loads of motorcycles and twisting bends. It was while doing around 150mph that one of the dips got the better of us and we took off. We landed at 45 degrees and slid sideways into the rain forest, hit a tree spun travelled another few hundred yards and came to a halt next to a bar. Handy! Once we had dusted down the ants from our laps and sorted out the car we did the only thing to do in that situation and had a beer! We spent the next 7 hours by the roadside with Tango and Sten. The local’s made us welcome in traditional thai style by bringing us Pad-Thai noodles and more beers. We returned their hospitality by teaching the kids English and joining in with their games.

After paying a Thai bloke to look after the car we eventually got back on the road - albeit in the back of Tango and Sten’s rented pick up. We climbed under the tarpaulin as the sun turned to rain and the day to night. A long journey ahead and some hours into it Tango was looking tired. Nods offered his services and took the wheel for the rest of the journey into Bangkok at not quite lambo speeds.

We eventually found the hotel around 1am and were greeted with cheers and beers from the Gumballers still hanging around the lobby. Time trails in Mustafa’s wheel chair followed for many of the now, well oiled Gumballers (strong stuff that Singha). I persuaded Nods’ it may not be a good idea to have a go due the recent luck with our own wheels.

The following day was leisurely, we saw off the Gumballers who were off to get their Icelandic Air flight to SLC. Our Cathay Pacific flight was not until 6pm which gave us the opportunity to sample some of the Thai culture so off we went to arrange Tuk Tuk races. The deal was to get 3 tuk tuks and pay the first driver to Patpong 1000 bht. What a laugh! After a bit of sightseeing and a trip up the river on a long tail boat we returned to the hotel to get our limo to the airport. Here we were to get a flight to LA via Hong Kong and had a private jet arranged to take us to SLC. In the meantime Nods was working on getting a replacement car to meet us in SLC. A long flight followed so we had a few drinks and tried to catch up on our thoughts and some we needed sleep whilst 36000 ft above the Pacific.

So my story concludes. Mussy will hopefully add some of his adventures and comments later. It is a bit long-winded (ie I ramble a lot), but it was to make up for not driving from SLC to LA! Regards to all and see you next year! BalkanExpress
The warmth and madness of the crowds of Belgrade were behind us (as was the lady with no belly-button – a story to be recounted only in person and over a beer), and Mussy drove us back north to the calmness of home of Budapest. Unlike the majority of Gumballers, we had the glorious luxury of 2 whole nights of normal sleep in our beds before rejoining the rally for the last of the US leg. The other Gumballers were stuck on an ‘Air Iceland’ plane. Not a 747, but a little thing that has to make regular stops for fuel – just as well as Alex Roy was going to tape all the toilets and mark them as out-of-use! First thing to do was clean out the car prior to a stay in the intensive care clinic of Porsche Hungaria. It truly is amazing how much crap and garbage can be accumulated in only a few days.
The car goes into Porsche to sort out the oil leak we know about, and to put in new brakes and pads. Then the garage phones. It isn’t one oil leak; it is two and will require an entire engine removal and strip-down to repair. We knew it would be painful (at least to Mussy’s wallet!) and were prepared for the figure: just over 1,000 euros. It is a good thing that labour is still cheap in Eastern Europe! Then came the surprise; remember the oil can splitting at the start and Mussy just ripping out the lining of the front storage area? They wanted over 600 Euros just to replace it!!! WTF? Mussy and I have agreed that instead of paying this outrageous sum for a piece of glorified carpet, we would get a local to manufacture a bespoke ‘Louis Vuitton’ cover, complete with faux-diamonds on the holders – and would still be cheaper.
Saturday came all too soon (according to the nagging girlfriend) and Mussy and I boarded ‘Malev’s’ largest jet for the jaunt to California (Malev – Hungarian airline and damn fine!). The plan was simple: fly to NY, change and fly to LA, arriving in the late afternoon and then rent a Porsche, Bentley or an H1 Hummer and drive to Vegas in time for the party and to rejoin the rally. Why do all the ugly trolly-dollies serve Business Class? Why are all the pretty ones back in cattle?
One thing we noticed as we landed 45 minutes late at JFK: the Americans really want you to savour your entry experience into the US. So much so that they gave us 2 hours in which to do so. Admittedly it didn’t help that in front of us were 200 odd people (and I do mean odd!) from some Caribbean island. It appeared that every single one of them had problems with their visas or who they were, etc, etc. Not one person took less than 5-10 minutes to be dealt with, many taking longer before being escorted into a side office. The result was that instead of their being 8 security officials to deal with the people, there were soon only 3. 3 for all the non-Americans. The queue for the septics was fast moving and served by 8 officials. 8 officials who seemed determined not to allow anyone else through, no matter that there were connecting flights being missed. Great. By a mixture of lies (Mussy bluffing his way through the American queue) and rudeness (me going to the head of my line, and I hate queue jumping – reminds me of German skiers) we finally got through.
We had missed our connecting flight, and though the staff at the First Class desk of American Airlines were very kind (especially as I was not travelling in First!), we could get no flight to LA with an arrival time before 10pm. Gutted. That meant we could not get to the hire-car place on time. We made the decision to get very, very drunk instead. Going to the AA Lounge we were given a token each for a ‘beverage’. WTF? Upon entering I soon understood that the AA did not stand for American Airways, but for a self-help group of Alcoholics Anonymous. We exchange our tokens for G&Ts, and pondered what sort of sick society forces business class travellers to pay for their drinks?
The AA plane was utter, utter shite! Next to the doorway we could see large segments of rust that had been painted over, and other sections where rectangles of metal the size of A3 sheets had been replaced. Was this American or Uganda Airlines we were getting on?
Upon entering the cabin, was stunned to discover such tawdry and ancient furniture – I have only seen worse in low-class brothels in Germany! I was pleased that I had not taken the option of the 4,000 dollar upgrade to first! We settled back in our chairs (at least 20 years old) and forced ourselves to sleep – better to have bad dreams than experience the nightmare that is an internal flight in the USA. Sorry to go on so much about the plane, but I have only ever flown BA, SAA, Malev, KLM and Virgin before. I expected so much more than AA delivered.
Arriving in LA, life returned to Gumball standards. Mussy had used his Concierge service at Coutts Bank (very posh!) to organise a limo to pick us up from the airport and to book a table at ‘Maestro’ – the best steak house in LA. At the hotel we bumped into a couple of the Gumball crew. They were not staying at the Hilton, but at some hostel a couple of miles away. Poor sods! We went to the restaurant. To say it was the best steak of my life would have been an understatement! Absolutely superb, as was the wine. We both heartily recommend it to anyone in the area (provided you do not object to a 500 dollar bill for 2). This was not a place to declaim loudly “a bottle of your finest!‿ without checking the price (just over 5,000 bucks – gulp!). Thoroughly sated we retired to our rooms: we did not want to be too tired for the night at Heff’s House!
The big day dawned, and Mussy and I walked to Rodeo Drive to see the cars coming in (yes, we walked! And we were followed by a police car that couldn’t believe that two men could walk in Beverly Hills and not be criminals!). First car to be seen was the big Merc of Alessandro Grimaldi (why does MS Word want to change this to Garibaldi?); the smoothest dude on Gumball! Knowing that he had never been the fastest of Gumballers, I enquired how he had evaded cops and beaten everyone else. His answer: skip out a dull checkpoint! He was waiting for the true leaders to appear before parking up behind them (a bit of integrity that certain other Gumballers would do well to emulate).

As the street started to fill with silicon breasts and really nasty fake tans (in LA for gawds sake! The sun shines every day and you have people with orange skin and inflated lips all over the show). The we heard the dulcet tones of a VW Phaeton… err I meant a Bentley Continental GT J, and cruising round the corner came Alex and Michael, closely followed by the gorgeous Ford GT or Torquenstein. Alex and Michael had ‘won’ the Rally! Having said hello and posed for photos (see the internet for my ugly mug), it became apparent that knowing these people is good: impressionable girls think that you are rich/famous/important and then chat to you

 

Rodeo Drive soon filled up with Gumball cars and onlookers. The crowd soon dispelled forever the myth that people in LA all look like the cast of Baywatch – more women with faces like chewed toffee and bodies of melted ‘Lego’ in such a small area I have not seen in a long time. I passed this observation to Mussy who reminded me that living in Budapest has spoiled me. Fair enough I reckoned – and all such women are only a light-switch away from beauty!
Still with me? Good. At 1900 Mussy and I assembled in the bar in our skirts (err… Highland Dress: kilts, sporrans, the lot). And damn fine we looked as well. Wolfing down a bit of food (we know how Gumball feeds people at the parties) we prepared ourselves for the party. The good thing about wearing a kilt is the sporran (the little furry handbag in front of your balls, for those ignorant of the term). Not only can it hold money, cards, phone and alcohol, but when weighted down does a fine job of hiding any – ahem – ‘rising’ issues that cannot be contained by thinking of Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day J.
We arrived at the Playboy Mansion, a feat that I had dreamed about doing since I was fourteen, but have never dared to think was a possibility in real life. We bumped into some friends, and as the Bunnies started to appear I popped open a bottle of ’95 Dom Perinon bubbly. Very nice it was too: stood near the bar next to the Grotto, sipping some decent champagne and watching Ron Jeremy – another childhood hero who proved that ugly people can have sex with some of the most beautiful women in the world (it was not until years later that I realised the true difference: he has a 30cm long cock, and I don’t!).
Some of the champers I gave to the barman who had so kindly provided 5 champagne flutes. I didn’t think anything of it until I went to the other bar to get some drinks. He comes over from the first bar, got all the bartenders’ attention and announced that I was a ‘Platinum’ customer. So what does that mean in reality? It meant I got served the moment I arrived at the bar; no queuing for BalkanExpress! It also meant that some rather impressionable girls thought I was important/rich/regular guest at Heff’s place (see how I managed to bluff this earlier in the day? It is a valuable skill) and so clustered around me.
One of these little lovelies was saying how she needed 10,000 USD for a new set of breasts. I casually informed her (trying not to salivate on them) that her current breasts looked great (like a dead-heat in a Zeppelin race). Apparently not; they were silicon, but had hardened. “What do you mean?‿ says an innocent BalkanE. “I mean that they are like rocks – go on, feel them!‿ sayeth the lady. So I did. They reminded me of cricket balls wrapped in a thin layer of plastic (for our non-Commonwealth readers – a cricket ball is like a baseball, only harder). “Nah!‿ spoke the Balkan, ever the gentleman “more like the firmness of a 16year old‿ (lying to women is also an important skill). Before I knew it, I was squeezing the breasts of two other ladies nearby to get a comparison. It goes without saying that they all had plastic/silicon/soya oil/air bags for breasts. Much merriment was had, and I had to use my sporran to all its good use until the presentation of the prizes interrupted our play.
Moving into the marquee we spotted Alex, his delightful girlfriend and Michael, so we occupied their table. There was a bit of chat and then we noticed that Hugh Heffner had arrived – to sit with several rather cute young girls on the table next to us. My God! He looks bloody old (err… he is. He is 80 years old). His bouncers then cleared a path to the podium for him to do his stuff. Prizes were given out: the ‘Spririt of Gumball’ – the most sought after award – was given to the crazy lunatics of the crashed Rolls Royce Phantom. Not only had they made their way to their private jet at Belgrade airport, but on arriving in Thailand had used a taxi to take them to Bangkok. Arriving in Salt Lake City they were greeted with a brand new Phantom (that they had purchased while on the way to Thailand). How much money? A fair chunk of style and panache as well though (as per my account of the European leg, the car they wrote off only had third party insurance)!
None of the other awards registered – we were too busy drinking and talking and letching at Heff’s bunnies. I would later lie to my wench and tell her that close up, the girls were not that pretty and they obviously used a lot of airbrushing and computer touch-ups for the magazine. What a lie! These girls were pure hubba-hubba J I suspect I did not impress them as I was just dribbling onto my lap and making ‘Mllllaaaaarrr’ sounds. I wouldn’t have pushed them away even if I had found them eating biscuits in bed (and biscuits is the name of my dog!).
So what did all the Gumballers get this year as a trophy? Would it be a baseball cap or a t-shirt? Nope. For the princely entry sum (for a new guy) of 40,000 GBP (about 75,000 USD) Gumball participants this year received…. a passport cover. Actually it is a nice black leather passport holder with ‘United Nations of Gumball’ on the front and was in keeping with the checkpoint system of giving out stickers (like visas) to go into a Gumball Passport. We had hoped to get at least 15 minutes in a darkened room with one of the Bunnies (darkened out of compassion for the lady)!
Heff then went to bed, taking most of the Bunnies with him (a bit selfish I thought), so we roamed the place looking for drunk/stupid ladies. We found some. Cue the old question from one of them “what do you wear under your kilt?‿ the answer “nothing‿ prompted (sometimes rather fake) expressions of disbelief. As we would not have our honour impugned, we were forced to allow several ladies within the 21-30 age group to place their hands up our kilts. If one was shy and just tried to go up the side of the leg, we told them that proved nothing as we could be wearing jock-straps. So either way we got our balls played with! In my defence, and before any more photos appear on the internet, I believe that there was some freakishly cold wind that night! It is the only explanation I have for why I went to bed alone L
At around 1am the party was kicked out of Heff’s house (very nice it is too) and back at the hotel a party was started. All was going well (plenty of ladies, plenty of alcohol) until 2am. The hotel (Beverly Hills Hilton) decided to close the bar – without telling anyone! People were not too happy, but being Gumballers there was never a suggestion of real trouble. Then one of the Brits lit a cigarette. So what? So the hotel called the police and before we knew it we had 6 response teams ordering us to move on. Neither us or the plod seemed to amused, and they threatened to restrain and arrest anyone who “didn’t get back in your automobile or room‿. They were not happy when I produced my diplomatic passport and told them they were mad: “Get back in my car? Are you mad? I’m absolutely cnuted! Which Lambo do you want me to crash?‿

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